Browsing Posts in General
A Canadian law clinic has asked the country’s Privacy Commissioner to take a closer look at the deep packet inspection being used by Bell Canada and others. While the technology also raises net neutrality concerns, in this case the issue is privacy.
[From Deep packet inspection under assault over privacy concerns]
Deep packet inspection gets a major speed bump to 80Gbps of real-time traffic analysis with 96 percent accuracy. Even the largest networks can now throttle P2P with ease… even when it’s encrypted.
Patrick Dempsey, a former FBI cybercrimes investigator, stirred up controversy yesterday with a proposal to fix the ‘Net’s security problems by building a second one and by strengthening digital borders.
[From A second, safer Internet: is it feasible, let alone possible?]
Consumer and corporate use of the Internet could overload the current capacity and lead to brown-outs in two years unless backbone providers invest billions of dollars in new infrastructure, according to a study released Monday.
Boeing Helping to Develop Algae-Powered Jet:
Air New Zealand, Aquaflow Bionomic Corporation and Boeing are working together to develop and test a bio-fuel derived from algae. Aquaflow Bionomic Corporation began operating in May last year after it met a request from the local council to deal with excess algae on sewage ponds. Boeing’s Dave Daggett was reported this year as saying algae ponds totaling 34,000 square kilometers could produce enough fuel to reduce the net CO2 footprint for all of aviation to zero.
The Declaration of IPv6 Independence:
Opinion: In the course of Internet events, it becomes necessary for one network to dissolve the bonds that stunt its growth and to assume the power of IPv6.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” – She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”
2. She is not a “SCREAMER” or a “MOANER” – She is “VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.”
3. She is not “EASY” – She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”
4. She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” – She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
5. She has not “BEEN AROUND” – She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”
6. She is not an “AIRHEAD” – She is “REALITY IMPAIRED.”
7. She does not get “DRUNK” or “TIPSY” – She gets “CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED”
8. She does not have “BREAST IMPLANTS” – She is “MEDICALLY ENHANCED.”
9. She does not “NAG” you – She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”
10. She is not a “TRAMP” – She is “SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.”
11. She does not have “MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS” – She is “PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.”
12. She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” – She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a “BEER GUT” – He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”
2. He is not a “BAD DANCER” – He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”
3. He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” – He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”
4. He is not “BALDING” – He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”
5. He is not a “CRADLE ROBBER” – He prefers “GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.”
6. He does not get “FALLING-DOWN DRUNK” – He becomes “ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.”
7. He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.“
8. He is not a ”MALE CHAUVINIST PIG“ – He has ”SWINE EMPATHY.“
9. He is not afraid of ”COMMITMENT“ – He is ”RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.“
10. He is not ”HORNY“ – He is ”SEXUALLY FOCUSED.“
11. It’s not his ”CRACK“ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ”REAR CLEAVAGE
I have a grunch of these in my backyard. Anyone want any?
TRANSLATING WOMEN’S ENGLISH
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I’m sorry = you’ll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to
Is my bum big? = Tell me I’m beautiful
Do what you want = you’ll pay for this later
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you’re dead
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
You’re so… manly = you need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
It’s your decision = the correct decision should be obvious by now
You’re certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about??
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you’re really not going to like
$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$
TRANSLATING MEN’S ENGLISH
I’m hungry = I’m hungry
I’m sleepy = I’m sleepy
I’m tired = I’m tired
Nice dress = Great tits!
I love you = let’s have sex now
I’m bored = Do you want to have sex?
What’s wrong = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I love you, too = Okay, I said it…we’d better have sex now!
May I have this dance? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d eventually like to have sex with you
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you in the next ten minutes
Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me
I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I am gay
Sinatra Knows
The Scientific Way To Rank Beers:
The top 100 beers of the world.
Gallery: 10 Best Internet Spoofs:
From endangered bunnies to bonsai kittens, the web’s a great place to pull a prank. Don’t get fooled again. By Drew Curtis.
